puppy or toddler

It’s time for everyone’s favorite game show… Puppy or Toddler!

Puppy or Toddler?

Hello, folks, I’m your host, Alan Finchmore, and this is Puppy or Toddler, the game show where you try to guess whether the named behavior is that of a puppy or a toddler. It’s harder than you’d think!

Our three contestants are ready to go, so let’s get started with our first question…

Host: Who ripped up tissues and spread them all over the house while I took a shower this morning? Contestant #2?

Contestant #2: The puppy!

Host: Sorry, you are incorrect — that was the toddler, though I’m sure the puppy would have helped if he could. Next question! Who regularly picks up random stuff off the ground and chews on it — puppy or toddler?

Contestant #3: Uh, the puppy?

Host: I’m sorry, that is incorrect — the answer we were looking for was, “the toddler”. Good thing she’s had her tetanus shot, am I right folks? Hah-hah! Moving on! Last night, who woke up at 11 p.m. and howled in her bed, loud enough to wake up the neighborhood — puppy or toddler? Contestant #1?

Contestant #1: What is “the puppy”, Alan!

Host: Relax, Contestant #1, this isn’t Jeopardy. And I’m sorry, that is wrong. The correct answer is “both of them, at the same time.” Wow, you guys really suck at this – hah-hah! OK, next question: Who ate a piece of three-day-old cheddar found underneath the couch — puppy or toddler?

Contestant #1: Oh, gross. It’s gotta be the puppy, right?

Host: Sorry, no, that was actually the preschooler. Trick question, hah-hah! She should know better, amirite? Oh well. Let’s play again: Who regularly gets tangled in her leash during her morning walk — puppy or toddler?

Contestant #2: Umm… I hope it’s the puppy.

Host: I’m sorry, that’s incorrect. Hah-hah, just kidding! Who would put a leash on a toddler? That’s crazytalk! Yes, Contestant #2, you’re correct! Next question: Who is most likely to play with the Ms. Princess Wets-her-Pants doll — puppy or toddler?

Contestant #1: The toddler?

Host: Oooh, so close, it’s actually the puppy… the toddler’s favorite toy is a Kong full of peanut butter. Sorry. On to our next question: Who peed on the kitchen floor and tracked it through the house — puppy or toddler?

Contestant #2: Uhh… the toddler?

Host: Correct! You’re catching on! Alas, it seems we’ve run out of time. Looking at the final score, congratulations, Contestant #2 — you’ve won Puppy or Toddler! What’s her prize, Jim?
Announcer: Congratulations, Contestant #2! You’ve won your choice of… a puppy or a toddler!

Contestant #2: Umm, I think I’ll take the puppy, Alan.

Host: Excellent choice, excellent! Well, that’s all for today, folks! We’ll see you next time on Puppy or Toddler, the game show that doubles as birth control!

Don’t forget to read to your puppies, and have your toddlers spayed or neutered. Have a good night!

who says you can’t go home?

This month we put our condo on the market, and so begins the tedious and stress-inducing process of sorting through our junk and packing up our junk and hauling our junk to our new home.

If you’ve listed a property in the last five years, you probably know what we’re experiencing right now. The gut-wrenching reality that we have no hope of making up what we originally spent on what is otherwise a conveniently located, affordable home. And we have exceptional timing in that we bought just before the bubble popped. Of course.

We could rent the property and wait to sell, but given the collective amount of stuff we’re trying to juggle right now, neither of us is excited about the prospect of becoming landlords in a college town. And so, onto the market it goes, and we cross our fingers.

It could be so much worse, and I’m doing my best to count our gains, which are many, rather than our losses, which are manageable.

But moving? Moving, no matter the market, will always suck. In times like this, I’m tempted to say “burn it all” and start fresh, but… I also like my stuff. So much so that I’m willing to cover it in bubble wrap and put it in boxes and transport it from point A to point B, all the while feeling uprooted and overly anxious. That’s just how I roll.

So instead of focusing on the seemingly endless black hole that is packing up this house, I’ll instead talk about our new home! Which is actually my parents’ home, gifted to us for a number of reasons–they’re retired and don’t need a large property to maintain, we need more space for two very active young kids (and a puppy) to run, it makes good financial sense, and one thing we’ve learned over the last four years is it’s harder to raise kids when you live apart from family.

It’s a little strange to be moving “back home” after so many years, but I’m excited for the change, and we’re grateful for the opportunity. I think it will help the kids feel more secure, especially where Tim and I travel semi-regularly now.

The property itself is pretty awesome, too. The main part is an old farm house, rustic post-and-beam construction. My parents built an addition with an office, two bedrooms, and a second bathroom in the early 90′s, and last summer they added a second addition with an apartment for themselves and a new bedroom for us. It’s a bit of a Franken-house in that regard, but the slightly odd layout and exterior is not a concern, since we’re easily doubling the amount of square-footage.

Over the next few months and years we’ll be repairing and updating the place. We have a laundry list of things to work on:

  • Upgrade kitchen counters from laminate to soapstone
  • Insulate and re-shingle front wall of the house
  • Geothermal heating system, to replace the oil furnace
  • Replace front and side decks
  • Remodel the second floor of the old house as a home office for Tim and I
  • Open the wall between two smaller bedrooms to make a shared bedroom/playroom for Ellie and Gwen
  • Replace worn linoleum in the girls’ rooms
  • Upgrade from linoleum to oak hardwood in the hallways
  • Figure out if we’ll need a separate laundry area (right now the only one is in my parents’ apartment) — I suspect we will, especially as the kids get older

There’s probably more I’m forgetting. We’re hiring out most of this to local contractors and talented neighbors who are, thankfully, way more adept with a hammer than me. And my parents have already had a lot of work done to the house in the last six months — the hardwood floors have been refinished, the 20-something-years-old “temporary” staircase has finally been finished, and there’s fresh paint all around.

No longer will we be confined to a bathroom that could barely pass for a closet; we’ll finally have a big ol’ clawfoot tub to soak in:

Bath time!

… and hardwood floors that will actually stand up to my kids’ abuse:

Does doggy like eggs?

… and a wall-o’-closet in our future bedroom that gives me chills:

New bedroom closet! It's freaking beautiful. Can't wait to move.

All on an acre or two, surrounded by forest and fields:

Fun in the storm

Very quiet and peaceful, exactly what we need as we move into the otherwise chaotic family-rearing phase of our lives.

Yes, we have a lot of good coming up, we just have to trudge through the next few weeks of packing and sorting to get to it. Lots of work, lots of stress, but in the end I know it will be totally worth it. Onward!

meet atticus!

Happy birthday, love. And welcome to the family, Atticus!

If you couldn’t tell from my Instagram feed, we recently adopted a puppy! Atticus is a five-month-old Husky/Aussie mix (I call him a Hussie, hehe) and he has to be the sweetest, most laid-back pup I’ve ever met.

Operation: Wear Out the Puppy successful

Our Automattic co-worker, Michael, and his girlfriend, Meredith, fostered this adorable guy, so we’d seen lots of pictures and heard many good things prior to adopting him. Tim has been hinting at wanting a dog for a while now, I just never thought we’d have enough space in our small condo. But it just so happens we’re moving to a large home in a rural area with plenty of space for a pup and two kids to run… so in another month, that won’t even be a concern.

Initially, I was skeptical — my response to “we should get a puppy” has always been, “we have a puppy, her name is Gwen! She eats, sleeps, poops, and requires regular exercise and training. It’s basically the same thing.” But now that Gwen is well into toddler-dom, I’ve been feeling that sad no-more-babies pang. (Two kids is more than enough for our family, but tell that to my biological clock.) Let’s just say Tim may have caught me in a moment of weakness.

And… just look at that face:

Why hello there!

Yeah, I didn’t stand a chance.

Atticus has completely taken to our family since we picked him up on Sunday, particularly to Tim. I’m impressed with how well-behaved and smart he is. We’ve been working on training commands like “down” and “stay”, and he’s pretty cooperative on a leash, if not curious. Tim and I take him for frequent walks, and since we both work from home, he rarely has the opportunity to get into puppy mischief. It turns out we’re in the perfect situation for a puppy.

Most importantly, he’s gentle with the kids, and Gwen is especially excited about her new “gogga” (she calls him “Acca”). Ellie is more cautious and timid (as she is with most dogs), but she already loves to help walk him, so we think she’ll come around soon.

The cats are the only ones who are understandably unimpressed with the new addition, but they’re slowly coming out of hiding, complete with looks of total and utter disgust. :) I have a feeling by this time next week, they’ll do the standard, stately cat thing and just ignore him.

I think we’re all going to get along fine.

Keeping an eye on things

health update, the last half year or so?

What the hell happened to last year’s health kick? Well, it kinda ran off the rails after I joined Automattic. My weight crept back up, I stopped paying attention to what I was eating, and my exercise routine was not so much a routine anymore. The results spoke for themselves — I felt gross and bloated, tired, not very happy. Boo.

So, in January I hopped (or, in my given condition, sluggishly oozed) back on the wagon, and now I’m feeling confident enough to tell you how things have been going.

January

  • Started Weight Watchers on a whim, after seeing one too many TV commercials. Was suspicious, but their “points” system makes it much easier to keep track of food, and the iPhone app is handy when we’re grocery shopping.
  • Also started playing Health Month again, because I noticed a lot of the habits I tracked last year have stuck — which is great! I regularly take my vitamins and floss my teeth. Maybe tracking some other healthy habits will help them stick, too. My rules involve drinking more water, hitting my target step goal, and remembering to track food.
  • Resumed a near-daily exercise routine, mostly Just Dance, and felt out of shape and silly, bouncing around like a monkey in my living room.
  • Went to Hawaii and put WW on hold (so much eating out) but did not come back fatter. Win/win.

February

  • Lost some weight. Did not feel too deprived while doing so.
  • Continued working out.
  • Added a new rule to Health Month — make an effort to get more quality alone time. I’m terrible about taking time for myself.

March

  • Lost more weight. Was warned I was losing too fast, so I started keeping closer track of Activity points, and eating them. I like eating.
  • Bought a food scale to more accurately measure portions.
  • 45-minute Just Dance workouts no longer made me want to die.

Now

  • I’ve lost 30 pounds since mid-January, over 35 total from after Gwen was born.
  • Fashion bonus: My jeans fit comfortably again.
  • Started Couch-to-5K. Just Dance is now easy, I need a physical challenge. It’s pretty hard to imagine me, jogging, but I’m sure stranger things have happened. I just can’t think of what…

Next 3 Months

  • I’d like to be able to jog a mile in less than 12 minutes, fairly comfortably, without needing to walk.
  • I need to set a new goal weight. I hope to lose between 12 & 24 pounds by the end of June.
  • Keep on keepin’ on.

Cause and Effect

Gwen is shaking her head rapidly back and forth at the dinner table.

Ellie: “Gwen! Don’t shake your brains! Your seat buckle will come undone and you’ll fall out of your chair and bang your head on the floor! Then the oven door will fall open and you’ll fly into the oven and get all fried up! You don’t want to get all fried up, do you, Gwen?”