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lunch at chez ellie

Ellie: “Mama! Do you want to play restaurant?”

Me: “Sure!”

Ellie: “OK. I’ll take your order. Umm… we have pancakes, sausage, eggs, coleslaw… and beef.”

Me: “Ooh, can I get some pancakes? With beef on top?”

Ellie: “Sure! But the sausage won’t be ready for a few minutes.”

Me: “Oh, I wanted beef, not sausage.”

Ellie: “Well, there’s not a lot of beef left, and I’m going to give it to the next people who come into the restaurant. But you can have sausage!”

Me: … “But I don’t want sausage! I wanted beef.”

Ellie: “OK! What’s your name?”

Me: “Caroline.”

Ellie: “And your middle initial?”

Me: “Why do you need my middle initial?”

Ellie: “It’s for your order!”

Me: “Uhh, it’s ‘E’.”

Ellie: “OK, and what’s your telephone number?”

Me: “555-5555… why do you need my telephone number?”

Ellie: “And your address?”

Me: “Uh. 555 Some Road.”

Ellie: “Annnd… how many monies do you have?”

Me: “Huh?”

Ellie: *sigh* “Mama, I need to know if you have enough money for your food. If not, you have to leave the restaurant. Only people who have enough money can eat at this restaurant.”

Me: “Well jeez. I have thirty dollars, is that enough?”

Ellie: “Perfect! I’ll put your order in.”

(Ellie doesn’t move.)

Me: “Great!”

Ellie: “You’re a really good customer, Mama! But some people over there aren’t good customers. They’re throwing food. I had to kick them out of my restaurant.”

Me: “Oh, that’s not good, huh?”

Ellie: “Yeah. They didn’t have enough monies, and they were throwing food, so I had to Duct Tape the door so they can’t get in.”

Me: “… you mean I’m Duct Taped into your restaurant?”

Ellie: “Yeah! Cause you’re one of the good customers!”

Me: “… lucky me. So, when will my food be ready?”

Ellie: “After it’s cooked.”

Me: “Of course.”

(At this point, I can’t stop laughing.)

Ellie: “MAMA! There’s NO laughing in my restaurant!”

Me: “Oh! Sorry.”

Ellie: “We don’t laugh in restaurants, Mama, that’s not nice.”

Me: “Y’know, I’m starving; do you think my pancakes are ready?”

Ellie: “Mmm, not yet. Hey! Can I watch a show?”

Me: “… sure.”

This little game of pretend turned decidedly Misery-like. I never did get my food.

πŸ˜ƒ+

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